Sassy Black Doctor
by Uncle Shaggers
Summary: The Doctor is a woman now, a sassy black one at that! Rose isn't sure what to make of this black Doctor, especially when the begin to match in weight. Will their love sustain? Or will it break under the stress of colored greens and culture differences and dehydrated gumbo?


The Doctor winced as the burning feeling of regeneration filled his body.

He could feel the gold sparkles changing his cells on by one, each one more excruciating then then the last.

Hours later, he stood in front of the mirror, observing her body.

Yes, the Doctor was a woman. She had ebony skin and dark hair. The Doctor sighed and flew out to pilot his TARDIS.

Two weeks later she stepped into young Amelia Pond's yard. She saw the little girl watching her with big dark eyes.

"Ya, littl' white girl! You's get you're ass in the damn TARDIS the in'tant, girl!" Amy watched her curiously.

"Who are you?"

"Don't you backtalk me! I not gettin' no sass, ya hear?" The little girl nodded in scared submission.

"But what about Aunt Sharon?" The Doctor glared at her.

"Oh no you did'unt! Getch your ass in this here TARDIS now!"

Amy Pond followed her Doctor into the TARDIS. A month later Amy ran out of her room and embraced the many folds of the Doctor.

"Granny Doc, could we go to Barcelona?" The Doctor glared at her.

"We's go where I says, ya hear?" Amy nodded, afraid of her Granny Doctor.

"Okay, Granny Doc." The Doctor rolled her eyes.

"Lordie, girl! How's many times do I hafe to tell's ya? It's "yes" none of this "okay", ya hear?" Amy nodded.

"Yes, Granny Doc." She scampered toward the the doors.

"You's get your skinny ass here right now!" The Doctor barked. Amy ran back. "White girl, you's hafe to listen to me." Amy shook her head. The Doctor opened the door to see Rose Tyler waiting for her.

"Sweet Jesus."

* * *

"Who the hell are you?" The Doctor glared at her. They might have used to been lovers, but that didn't mean she couldn't use manners!

"I the Docta, and you's Rose Tyla." The blond sniffed disdainly.

"The Doctor is a boy, silly woman."

"Oh no you did'unt, you's British ho!" The Doctor back handed Rose.

"Oi! What the hell was that for, Doctor?" The Doctor rolled her eyes.

"Oh Doctor, I missed you!" Rose crushed her lips to her's. Hours later, Rose and the Doctor were sitting in the kitchen.

"I fancy some chips!"

"We ain't gonna eat that British shit, ya hear? Dis is where it's at."

The Doctor pulled out a box of dehydrated gumbo. Rose eyed it warily

"You's living in this here TARDIS, you's eating this, ya hear? Getch ya's skinny white ass over here's and cook this up!"

Rose meekly poured the gumbo into a pan. It had been two weeks since Rose had traveled with the Doctor. She was starting to resemble a white version of her, due to the non stop dehydrated gumbo. They landed in Cardiff, 2010, and were strolling down the street when Rose saw a familiar face.

"JACK!" The Doctor rolled her eyes. Sweet Lord, it was Jack Harkness.

"You's gonna choose a pretty boy over me, Rose?" Rose rolled her eyes.

"I wouldn't do that, Doctor. He is my friend." Jack Harkness turned and saw them.

"Hello. Captain Jack Harkness." He said, shaking the Doctor's hand. She glared at him.

"Sweet Jesus, boy, can't you's not flirt for ones damn minute?" Jack appraised her.

"What's your name, darling?" The Doctor sighed.

"Damn, boy. I'ms the Docta, and no one's gonna seduce me, ya hear? My's heart belongs to Rose Tyla." Rose smiled at her, pleased. Jack sighed heavily.

"Should have known the Doctor would be a woman one day." He muttered darkly. The Doctor slapped him.

"How's dare you says that, boy? No one's knew Imma be a woman." Jack sighed again and followed the two overweight women into the TARDIS.

* * *

After Jack had started to travel with them, they were able to eat more then dehydrated gumbo. They were planning to teach him to cook chicken fry. That meant that the Doctor had to teach him.

"Lord, Jack! You's puttin' the chicken fat before the cuppa seasonin'! Boy, you's have no talent." Jack blushed and nodded.

"This is how's it done." The Doctor poured the cup of unidentified seasoning into the platter of chicken fry.

"But Doctor, you are too attractive to concentrate on cooking!" The Doctor glared at him. "You white American, no Im aint!" He winced as she back handed him and then poured the chicken fry on his head.


End file.
